Life As I Know It

It would suck to be born ugly and poor. Only the really rich can fix that.

Every Christmas when its time to get the tree, my mom sings her take on the Ying Yang Twins song 3, 6, 9 by singing, “3, 6, 9 its Christmas tree time!”

I recently discovered I’m a pretty good lip-syncer and may want to go pro. If my boo, Britney can do it, I can too!

If you’re wearing a santa hat, epesh at the club/bar, don’t even think about talking to me. Because I will ignore you so hard.

Black Swan was so intense/freaky/amazing. Natalie better win best actress.

I like my leftovers cold.

If I just met you and don’t respond to your endless texting, it means I’m not interested. Get a fucking clue dude! Or you’ll receive a not so nice message telling you stop. K thankzzzz.

Brought wine into the theatre when I saw Love and Other Drugs. Good thing I did because I saw Anne Hathaway’s tits too many times for me to enjoy it sober.

I thought hanging out at a mall was so 1995. Apparently its the place to be on a Saturday afternoon to holler at girls riding the escalator.

Spent a few afternoons at Starbucks being a young hipster with her Macbook and latte.

Boys suck at baking.

I would’ve rather worn leggings as pants and Uggs for an entire year than work on finals. Thats saying a lot because I really really despise both of them with a fiery passion.

“Every pole is a stripper pole.” – classmate H.

Britney Spears is coming out with a new album in March. Pause for my excited dance.

“You’re the help, you do not touch me.” – my mother.

My boss told a litter girl she couldn’t eat her ice cream in our store (duh) and the look on the little girls face was priceless. I loved it.

Don’t forget ladies, happiness is only a hair flip away.

You’re at a club. Change into something other than sweat pants. I know you own a pair of jeans.

I told my new teacher that she can call me Sara Boo in order to remember which Sara/h I am out of the 4 in my class.

Sucks that your girlfriend is ugly.

Legit saw a girl at a bar with toilet paper stuck to her heal.

My roommates drunk ass friend barged into my room thinking it was my roommates room, turned on my lights, woke me up at 2am and used my bathroom. Fucking college.

A really good way for me to not to be impressed by you is to text me, “wuts gud?”

“I just wanna look good enough to get some tonight.” – best friend M.

My gingerbread men are chocolate dipped:

And So It Is.

Baths and naps are my daily saviors. Without them I crumble into a cranky hot mess.

I can’t handle the opening credits to Dexter. The combo of sounds and visuals erks me and I skip it when I watch the episodes online.

Having full frontal bangs allows for me to forget a day of tweezing my eye brows and no one noticing. Win.

I’m just gonna say it… Don’t you love it when your ex dates someone not so attractive after you? Come on, I know you do, don’t lie.

Sixteen more credit and I’m done with college. EEEEEEEEEEE!

Stop looking at me weird when I roll up my right pant leg. I’m either on my bike or about to ride it. It’s for the safety of not getting your pants stuck in your bike and having to stop in the middle of campus and try to yank your pants out by furiously shaking your leg and then ripping them in the process. Just me? Cool.

I wrote you off as a fail of a friend awhile ago and you have yet to prove me wrong.

Is it really that hard to understand the word trim? You’d think that if you are a liscened hair stylist, one of the basics, is how to do a bang trim, right? Well, apparently it’s not. How do you cut my bangs EXACTLY how I want them a few weeks ago and then COMPLETELY fuck them up weeks later when I ask for a simple trim? Why would you go from thick, blunt straight across bangs to thin, wispy bangs? THAT DOES NOT EQUAL A TRIM. Either get your ears fixed or rethink your life and find a new career.

Thank god hair grows, otherwise I’d unleash my mother on you: “Well, give me her home address, where she parks her car when she’s at work, the names and schools of her children.  Houses can burn, cars can burn, children can disappear.”

Britney Spears blasting in my room is a great way that I calm myself from my rage.

Just because the new high in AZ is 72 degrees doesn’t mean you can wear gloves out and about.

Don’t think I won’t call your ass out for texting me at midnight looking to hangout. Thats a booty call, technically a booty text, and it ain’t gonna work on me boo.

I use to sign off at the end of my xanga (like a live journal and kind of my first blog back in high school) posts with “you know you love me”. I was on the Gossip Girl train way before y’all. Get it right.

Karma will find you. XOXO.

Random Thoughts of the Week

Why did I choose to go to school in a desert for four years of my life!? Its still in the 90s and I want to cry every day I wake up and have to say no to the boots, scarves and sweaters gathering dust in my closet. I MISS AUTUMN.

Serena on Gossip Girl wore a skort. Shorts that look like a skirt = skort. UM, WHAT?! Come on you Gossip Girl stylists, that one was a no and hopefully tomorrow night’s ep you’ll do better.

Saw the movie Catfish. Intense. What is even more intense is that its 100% real. I recommend going to see it. Also, look out for the male tramp stamp, hilarious. Also, also, makes me think about sexting people I’ve never met in real life. Not saying I have, just you know, for the future.

Someone needs to make a pill that makes me, slash lots of women, less of a bitch.

Two important requirements for taking me out, a car and a job. So, you can pick my non-driver-license-slash-lazyass up for our date for which you will be paying.

Don’t be a hateful ex-roommate and then stupidly have your shipping address to where you no longer live. I will through your package out.

I’m currently going for the Zooey Deschanel look for Fall 2010. Holla.

Don’t bike into a sprinklers spray range on the way to class. Unless, of course, you want to look like a wet ho.

Can’t forget the classics.

Turtles have sex too.

San Diego Zoo, 2010

10 Things You Should Know About Me

1. Has been a professional pedestrian for 21 years.
I do not have a driver’s license. Yeah, I know, I’m 21 years old and do not have a car and if I did wouldn’t be able to drive it. I took driver’s ed in high-school and have driven a car before but never went all the way and got a license. I didn’t need one where I lived in Chicago. Oak Park (where I grew up) had two different El train stops in it (Blue & Green Line). I lived a block from my high-school, three blocks from downtown Oak Park where I worked and had friends/boyfriends to drive me anywhere else my mother denied me a ride. I could take the train into the city and be there in less time and didn’t have to worry about parking.

2. Loves the way a camera shutter sounds.
I’m a photography student and have been playing with cameras for eight years now, since my first year of high-school. Im a dork and have always loved the way a shutter sounds when being pressed. Something about that sound drew me in to press it over and over and learn as much as I could about what happens when I do press it. So, basically I continued to press it and now eight years later am in my senior year of college and hope to make a living pressing it for as long as I live.

3. Can I get a holla for Chi-town?
HOLLA! Gotta rep Chicago baby!

4. Has an obsession with shoes, dresses and basically anything fashion.
And so do many other girls my age. But, my obsession is unique. Okay, not really its just a really really big obsession. I have accumulated so many shoes, dresses, skirts, pants, shorts, tops, boots, scarfs, necklaces, earrings, rings, bags and headbands. Now, I’m not some snotty rich girl who has the same closet in Clueless, the one that electronically rotates and is ginormous. This one. I tend to not pay attention to my monthly income and end up going a little hungry. But its for the sake of my gorgeous new baby blue rain boots! So, in the end its worth it.

5. Despises leggings worn as pants & jeggings
I’m not talking about wearing leggings under a dress, tunic, or skirt. (And this only means the leggings that go all the way to the ankle that are then covered by boots, not those leggings that hit at the knee and worn with flip flops. EW.) Leggings are not pants. When girls wear leggings with a tee shirt/ top its drives me crazy. I really don’t want to see allllll that. And it has nothing to do with weight, you can be 200 lbs or 85, leggings will never be a good substitute as pants. This also includes jeggings. These are leggings with designs on them to make them look like pants. They have fake seems, pockets and belt loops. Like these. Just put the jeggings down and walk away while wearing your leggings under your cute black sweater dress and fab new knee high leather boots.

6. Will become a crazy cat lady later in life.
I will blame this on my mother. I was promised a cat once we moved into a place that allowed us to have pets. Instead, we moved into a place that allowed Italian step-dads. In the end it worked out so much better than a tiny kitten would have, but I’ve still always and will always want a kitten to greet me when I come home from a long day and annoyingly follow me around meowing for hours. Ah, bliss. So, when I become an old lady, to make up for lost time, I will have probably about 6 cats. When you come to visit me and my 6 cats, remember to send a thank you letter to my mother.

7. Would die to be a Britney Spears backup dancer.
This is a combination of my many years of dance and my many years of being a die hard Britney Spears fan. I was there from the beginning with Oops I Did It Again all the way to Its Britney Bitch. I’d love to become her bff and be the first friend she called to drive her to the hair salon so she can buzz of all her hair. (Except that wouldn’t work out that well considering I can’t drive. Damn. Making a note of that for reasons to get a driver license.) Anyways, I’d love to be on stage pelvic thrusting with the princess of pop and moving my body to the fabulous way she sings, err, I mean lip-syncs at her performances. Come on, who wouldn’t?!

8. Will never ever not have an iPhone.
I love my iPhone. Everyone that has one knows what I’m talking about and for those of you who don’t, well I just feel bad for you. I’ll let you play with mine. Maybe.

9. Is slowly becoming her amazing mother.
I had to add amazing, because I know my mother will read this. Hi mom! Love you!

10. Confessions, moments and ramblings.
I will share my confessions, ramble on about things and show you moments. Moments being the photos I take when I press that delicious sounding shutter.